{"product_id":"unisex-hoodie-10","title":"Captain Cursed","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWent left when everyone tacked right.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThis is not the world’s fanciest hoodie.\u003c\/strong\u003e It’s not cashmere. It’s not hand‑woven by monks in the Alps. It’s not even technically “dress code approved” at the marina (sorry, Commodore). But since 2023, it’s been the \u003cem\u003eonly\u003c\/em\u003e hoodie our crew at Nepean Sailing Club actually wears — on the dock, at the bar, and yes, even mid‑regatta when we should probably be lifting our fenders instead of letting them hang.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s tough, it’s cozy, and it’s basically the duct tape of clothing. You’ll spill rum on it, you’ll sweat in it, you’ll probably sleep in it. And years from now, you’ll look at this hoodie and think: \u003cem\u003e“Wow, that’s where the memories live. Also, why does it still smell like tequila?”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis hoodie isn’t prestige. It’s personality. It’s the unofficial uniform of the Railmeat fleet — proof that you can party all night, race all day, and still look like the competitor everyone’s watching.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFuture memories included. Batteries not. Rum sold separately.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e⚓️ Hoodie Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e 50% cotton \/ 50% polyester fleece blend\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWeight:\u003c\/strong\u003e Heavyweight, 8 oz (because flimsy hoodies are for yacht club posers)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Classic unisex fit — relaxed, roomy, and perfect for layering over your hangover\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDouble‑lined hood with drawstring (for dramatic storm‑movie moments)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRibbed cuffs and waistband (keeps the warmth in, keeps the rum belly contained)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eKangaroo pocket (for snacks, flasks, or questionable decisions)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDurable stitching (because regattas aren’t gentle)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e📏 Size Guide (aka “Avoid the Crop‑Top Pirate Look”)\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarning for sailors:\u003c\/strong\u003e these shrink faster than your dignity after a dock party. 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