Railmeat Apparel

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We fell in love with sailing the most logical way possible: by purchasing a floating death trap with zero experience, because apparently, "responsible adulthood" felt a little too easy. While the Ottawa River community was busy keeping us from inadvertently becoming part of the ecosystem, we realized that most boating gear has the personality of a damp saltine cracker. So, we birthed Railmeat Apparel—a love letter to the chaotic, stubborn, pasta-powered legends who actually inhabit the water. We’re trading generic mall-brand vibes for clothes that reflect the beautiful, sunburnt misfits we call friends. In short, we took a leap of faith, managed not to drown, and built a brand for the rest of us.

THE RAILMEAT ROSTER

Hard to beat, harder to ignore.

Meet our crew of absolute legends—a squad of racers who prove that elite performance is usually just high-speed chaos in a comfortable hoodie. These four are the heart of the brand, dominating podiums and owning the after-party with the kind of skill that makes "professionalism" look boring. They’re unstoppable, unavoidable, and currently out-training everyone while the rest of us are still defrosting. We’re ridiculously proud to have them representing us on the water, mostly because they prove you can be a world-class athlete and a total disruptor at the same time. Watch out for them this season; they’re coming for the trophies, and they’re doing it with style.

#ShowUsYourBoat Challenge

Stop overcomplicating your life and join a global challenge so beautifully stupid it’s basically free therapy. Grab any scrap of paper—a receipt, old homework, or those final divorce papers—fold it into a boat, and snap a photo somewhere interesting enough to make the internet actually care. It sounds dumb, but people are somehow turning this into museum-level art, and frankly, we have nothing better to do. So quit scrolling, start folding, and #ShowYourBoat. Because let’s be honest: the dumbest ideas are always the ones worth doing. Let’s go.

INSTAGRAM

What does "railmeat" mean?

Railmeat isn’t a career; it’s a spiritual calling for the professionally lazy. Your entire job description is to sit on the edge of a boat like a decorative sack of potatoes until someone screams at you to move your useless body to the other side. It’s the only gig on earth where your primary value is having a pulse, a butt, and a total lack of interest in spreadsheets. If you can handle front-row sunsets, cold beer, and existing beautifully while being yelled at, congratulations—you’re overqualified.

make tThe Flappy-Flaps (n.) • Yacht Club term: Tell-tales."Those little pieces of yarn that tell you which way the wind is blowing. Because apparently, feeling the giant invisible force hitting your face isn’t scientific enough. If they’re flapping, you’re winning. Or losing. Honestly, they’re just there to look busy while you look for your beer."

The Pointy-End (n.)• Yacht Club term: The Bow."The part of the boat that hits things first. We call it the 'Pointy-End' because it’s shaped like a triangle and I’m not a geometry teacher. If this part is underwater, you’ve made a series of very poor life choices."

The Whippy-Stick (n.)• Yacht Club term: The Tiller."The stick you move to make the boat go 'that-a-way.' If you move it left, the boat goes right. Because sailing wasn't complicated enough, we decided to he steering work like a mirror in a funhouse."

Frequently Asked Questions

Contact Information

Yes, we actually exist. And yes, we have a slip number, because nothing says “legit business” like being able to point at a dock and say, “That’s ours.”

📍 Our Location
Slip #C‑44 — Nepean Sailing Club
3259 Carling Avenue
Ottawa, Ontario K2H 1A6

📧 Email
Railmeatapparel@gmail.com
(We check it. Eventually)

Shipping & Returns Policy

Ahoy there, landlubbers and seasoned mariners alike. Look, we know you’re itching to get your hands on some fresh Rail Meat Apparel, and we’re just as excited to get it to you.

But unless you’ve figured out how to teleport (and if you have, please email us immediately—we have questions), we have to rely on the traditional method: ships, trucks, and the occasional overworked carrier pigeon.

Here’s the lowdown on how your gear gets from our deck to yours.

⚓ The Logistics (Or: How We Keep the Boat Afloat)

We’ve teamed up with the crew at Printful to handle the heavy lifting. Think of them as our trusty first mates who actually know how to fold things.

• Processing: Your order usually takes 2–7 business days to get printed, packed, and prepped. We call this the "anticipation phase." It’s like waiting for the wind to pick up, but with more coffee.

🌊 Shipping Times (US Waters)

• Standard Shipping: 5–7 business days. Perfect for those who appreciate the slow, scenic route.

• Express Shipping: 2–3 business days. For when you absolutely, positively need to look better than everyone else at the yacht club by Friday.

🌎 International Voyages

We ship worldwide because style shouldn’t stop at the horizon. Most international orders arrive in 7–14 business days, though local customs officers occasionally like to admire our work for a few extra days. We can't blame them.

⚓ Returns & Exchanges (The "No Regrets" Policy)

If your gear arrives and it’s not love at first sight—or if it fits like a sail on a rowboat—don’t panic. We want you happy, mostly because unhappy sailors are prone to mutiny, and we just had the floors waxed.

The Rules of Engagement:

• Contact us within 30 days of delivery.

• Items must be unworn, unwashed, and in original condition. Basically, if it smells like a wet dog or a three-day regatta, we can’t take it back.

• Defective or Damaged? If your gear arrives looking like it fought a kraken and lost, we’ll replace it for free. Our bad.

• Standard Returns: If you just changed your mind, shipping costs are on you. Think of it as a small tribute to the sea gods.

• Refunds: Once we receive your return, we’ll process your refund in 5–7 business days.

⚓ Signal For Help

Need to track a package? Got a question about sizing? Just want to tell us a really good sea shanty?

Drop us a line at RailMeatApparel@gmail.com. Be sure to include your order number so we can find your info faster than a shark smells chum. We’ll get back to you promptly, or at least as soon as we find our reading glasses.

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Bought a Boat. Didn’t Die.